Book Review: When Clowns Attack by Chuck Sambuchino

This book is insane. It’s such a crazy idea, it’s hard to doubt the veracity of its claims. 

And October is the perfect month to read it. It kept me up more than once. Especially with the bevy of clown pictures designed to scare you into taking steps to protect yourself! 

Exhaustingly researched, this little book will tell you all you need to know to defend you and your loved ones from the scourge that is clowns.  
Their weapons: 

With their ridiculous size, clown shoes constitute a deadly weapon, according to the statutes in forty-seven U.S. states and more than a hundred countries worldwide.

Where they congregate: 

Not only do homeless, crazy clowns live in abandoned theme parks, it’s also rumored that clowns bury their dead at amusement parks that have shuttered their doors.

Running away from them. They may find it hard to follow you up stairs in their giant shoes, but be careful when getting back down: 

Remember, clowns can jump from a dizzying height and survive by landing in a small pail of water. You probably cannot.

And, there’s a whole section on how to identify one that’s inclownito (in plainclothes). 

Finally, we can’t forget the importance of political activism. We need to be writing our congressmen. 

Sure, keeping your home safe is just dandy. But what happens years from now when clown numbers have increased tenfold? We’re all screwed, that’s what.

Worth reading. When the clownpolypse comes, you don’t want to be caught flat-footed! So to speak. 

Thanks to NetGalley and Ten Speed Press for a copy in exchange for an honest review. 


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